Why You’re Not Playing 

(And What to Do About It)

One of the hardest conversations in sports is the one about playing time. It’s emotional, personal, and often confusing, especially when your effort feels high but the results don’t match your expectations.

Most athletes assume playing time is a simple reflection of talent, and sometimes it is. But more often, those decisions come down to trust. Which leads to the first question worth asking.

Does My Coach Trust Me?

Good coaches don’t make decisions out of spite or in a vacuum. Every day, they’re evaluating more than just skill. They’re paying attention to body language, chemistry with teammates, situational awareness, and how players respond to stress and adversity.

If you struggle to handle moments that carry less weight, it’s hard for a coach to trust you in the most intense, high-consequence moments. Pressure doesn’t create reliability. It exposes it.

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It means you have to be reliable. Coaches lean on players they trust to do their job. That’s one of the reasons liking a player and trusting a player are two very different things. Most coaches like their players. They just can’t trust every player when the stakes are high. One of the clearest ways trust shows up is through how well you understand and execute your role.

Where Is My Role Right Now?

Every team has roles, and they rarely stay the same. Some are clearly defined. Others shift week to week. That uncertainty can be frustrating, and it’s worth acknowledging, but coaches take notice of players who consistently fill their role well.

We even have names for different roles. Glue guys. Locker room leaders. Mentors. Veterans. Scout team players. These roles may not come with headlines, but they’re essential to team success. Almost every high-level athlete can point to people in those roles and tell you how valuable they were.

Knowing and owning your role shows that you can handle responsibility without drifting, freelancing, or trying to prove something. One of the most reliable ways to earn a bigger role is to be great at the one you’re currently in, but even when you’re executing your role well, effort and consistency don’t always lead to immediate opportunity.

What If My Effort Isn’t Enough?

This is where comparison starts to creep in. It’s natural to look around and measure yourself against others, but there’s a difference between aspiring to grow and becoming resentful of someone else’s opportunity.

Sometimes you can do a lot of things right and still not get the step you want. Fit matters. Timing matters. Bias exists. That’s an unfair reality, but it’s part of competitive environments. Where athletes lose ground is when frustration turns into disengagement.

Life isn’t always fair, but how you choose to show up in those moments can shape you more than the role itself ever could.

What Should I Focus On Instead?

If you want more opportunity, stop fixating on outcomes and start paying attention to the behaviors you show every day.

Be consistent. Take feedback and stay coachable. Stay engaged even when you’re not the focal point. Do your job well, especially when it feels like nobody is watching.

Do those things and trust has room to grow. Prove that you’re reliable, and opportunities tend to follow. When that door opens, the responsibility is yours to handle.