Bhrett McCabe
The True Benefit of Struggle
As a clinical and sports psychologist for athletes, teams, and competitors across the world, working with players immersed in the performance struggles is one of the most significant aspects of my role. The pain, isolation, and confusion they often feel can be overwhelming for them and humbling for me.
Struggle does not care who you are or the level of your past performance. It latches on to you when you least expect it, and the harder you try to overcome it, the more it takes hold of you.
When sliding into pure performance frustration, you often forget your past successes rather than ridicule your current state of despair. Every person has a solution, a quick fix, or a band-aid that promises to give you the feeling of confidence again. Alas, nothing helps.
A few years ago, I wrote a book called Break Free from Suckville: How a Simple Mental Change Will Spark Your Performance. It focused on how your attitude and perspective need to change in order to improve. To me, the reason struggle continues is that you panic, fearing the future will not improve, and fail to focus on what truly leads to improvement. Instead, you beat yourself up with each failed short-term intervention.
Instead, you must start to get yourself moving in the right direction. This movement is what I consider the True Benefit of Struggle because when you focus on the proper elements of success, you build success for a more extended period than latching on to band-aids. You start to learn something about both your competitive psyche and your overall emotional well-being. As bad as it feels, you will not break unless you give up. I doubt you will take the easy way out.
I remember reading a quote from the legendary sports psychologist Dr. Ken Ravizza when he said “Are you that bad that you have to feel good to play well?” To me, he was speaking about confidence. You do not need to be confident to play your best. You do not need great results to validate your existence or ability.
You need to show up and give everything you have. While all the band-aids in the world will only give you moments of hope, those short-term fixes shift you away from the Purpose-Driven, Intentional Performance mindset. Is it about Purpose or Protection?
To reverse the course of Struggle, here are a few tips that may help:
1. Reset Mentally
When you struggle, everything comes at you faster than when you are playing great. As one of my players shared, you are searching for a solution with such intensity that “it is like drinking from a fire hydrant on the side of an interstate with semi-trucks flying by at 100 MPH.” That is a pretty good analogy. To reverse the backslide, you have to reset your mind.
1. It is not forever.
2. It is not going to break you.
3. The solution is likely more straightforward than you think.
4. Your beliefs and confidence are at rock bottom, so you need to rebuild slowly.
5. No one around you thinks you suck, so don’t allow the fear of embarrassment to guide your decisions.
You also need to learn to give yourself GRACE. Success has always been hard. It may be harder right now, but you were not likely perfect when you were having great success in the past. Instead, you likely worked through things better, didn’t overreact, and never bought into the drama of your performance. Give yourself some compassion and work through things better.
2. Tighten Up Your Circle of Trust
Suppose you post any problem online or on any social media platform; ⅓ of the replies will criticize you for everything. In that case, ⅓ will give you solutions they believe in, that if followed could cause your problems, and ⅓ will support you for who you are.
It is critical to eliminate undue noise and clutter when struggling. Many players change coaches, support teams, or even go “dark,” avoiding everyone. Some people are great at helping when struggle intensifies, and they usually
1. Know yourself and your physical and mental tendencies
2. See the long term as the ideal journey
3. Don’t overpromise and under-deliver
Evaluate your Trusted Team and give them time to help you. Outsiders do want to help, but they are peddling hope to someone searching to be saved. It is mental “crack” to a “success” addict. It is not investing in you or your process.
3. Re-Invest in Your Fundamentals
The number of times I have watched players chase complicated corrections only to find the solution in the fundamentals of their physical or mental game. Those elements are often the easy parts that we overlook in favor of the shiny processes that take so much energy to produce. The fundamentals are never sexy but always drive success. Go back to your basics.
I remember when I was struggling leading into my junior year in college. My entire pitching mentality shifted when I returned to a grip on my breaking ball. I remember the moment it happened in the bullpen. It felt like my trusted old friend had returned.
Your fundamentals build your momentum. Those often overlooked details build the correct way. It may be cuts in the cage focusing on your stance, grip work on the driving range, or ball handling on the court. It is not another’s, but yours. Your fundamentals are the basis for your success.
When you are playing great, you often start to overlook the basics. The allure of success changes your vision, but you will likely play well for a while. But over time, the true catalysts for success need proper attention.
Daily.
No matter how you feel.
4. See the Journey, Not the Moment
This contradicts many psychology teachings, but when you struggle, you must remind yourself of the end goal, not relief in the moment. It is essential to build the individual steps and focus on committing with intensity for each moment but measure over time. It is like building a house. Each sub-contractor comes in to do their job to achieve the vision that the construction plans build.
If you get caught up reacting to every small success and failure, you will become increasingly impatient and lose your psychological flexibility. To counter this, I recommend writing down your desired performance image three and six months down the road. I am not referring to goals but the image you want to achieve. Be honest and allow yourself the patience, resilience, and determination to achieve it.
Persistence drives the journey. Commit for 90 days if that is what it takes.
The ultimate benefit of struggle is the lesson it teaches you about yourself. Those moments require significant pain, disruption, and challenges, but what you learn only intensifies your self-image for the future. You can never forget who you become because you created that image through the fires of frustration and the complexity of your challenges.
Stay the course and work through your struggles. The pain is not personal, only developmental. Better days are around the corner, but you must do the work, make the sacrifices, and fight for yourself like you never have before. When will it get better? The question alone shows that it will improve if you can outlast the pain.